i cant believe its been so long since ive written in this
well, everything with school went well, thank Goodness. except for one class, which ill probably retake. the class i worked hardest for. well, i guess in the end, it makes me realize that that subject is not what i love, and should not be studying, hah!
so school ended a while ago, and i've been working and studying aaallllll day long in order to make rent and do well on my GREs! its been so crazy! ive been living on my own and its been unreal. its nice to be home for a while, before things start back up again .
so the past post was just so depressing for me to think about. while im still not so excited, its not a depression anymore, its just fear and anxiety. what happens afterwards? im so afraid hes going to find someone new he wants in florida, or realizes that this type of long distance isnt what he wants. i know he loves me and we have something amazing together. but i cant help but feel this way. hes told me plenty of times, 'i wish i met you a year from now'. and i dont know what to think about that. i dont know if i can handle only seeing him once a month. i dont know how some other girls do or did it. i was spoiled, being 3 hours away from usna. 2/c and 1/cyear were AMAZING. and i really just did not wnt them to end lol. as for now, i guess ill have to take it one step at a time.
I know you're not Christian, but this verse helps me through a lot so I hope it helps you. It's 1John 4:18 which says that "True Love blocks out all fear" :) Have faith in yourself, your relationship and trust that your future will be beautiful because of the foundation you have created for your relationship :) Hope you have a wonderful time during Commissioning week! and remember... the present is important, don't dwell too much on the future b/c that just creates worry. Let me know if you need to vent or need anything :) I'm here for you and I've done it before so I can help :)I love you Rania! :D
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